We’ve probably all been there. The hard seasons of life.
Recently we went through a difficult time of loss and saying goodbye to our daughter Izabella. On top of that, I’ve been dealing with chronic headaches related to her delivery. The laundry, the dishes, cooking, cleaning… those are the last things I really want to do.
The hard moments of life, unfortunately, come. And, what we really want during those moments, what we sometimes beg for, is the world to just stop moving for a while. We just want time. Time to breathe, to cry, to heal. But the reality is… it doesn’t stop. Our homes continue to breathe life.
What do you do? How do you find the joy, the gratitude, in homemaking when you are going through a tough season… when all you really want to do is just go back to bed and throw the covers over your head?
First…. find the thanksgiving. I know how unbelievably hard it can be to find the gift in the chaotic, or the gratitude in the unbalanced. However, I would challenge you to see all the good things that HE is giving you, gracing you with, brushing your life with, and purpose to seek the gifts even in the hard season.
For me it was…
Being thankful for the laundry… because it meant we had clothes to wear.
Finding gratitude in the dishes… because we had food on our table.
Seeing the graces in the messy house… because it meant there was living going on here.
It’s when we don’t feel like finding the thanksgiving that we must, because that is where we find our sanity. It is where we find HIM and where we eventually will find our way back to our homes.
So, when we do find our way back, what’s next? In the words of Elisabeth Elliot… we do the next thing. But what is the next thing? Well, it is different for everyone, but I can share with you where I started.
• First, look around your home. What is the one thing that is piling up the most? The laundry? Dishes? The mail thrown in the corner? Pick one. Just one. And might I suggest, too… start with something small and simple. Maybe even set a timer for 15 minutes and just work for that allotted time. Then the next hour…. try it again.
• Second, if you have children, get them involved. If they are older they can do more and if they are younger they can work alongside you. Sometimes having those little hands in the dish water with yours is just what you need in the difficult moments.
• Third, make a small decor change. I know this might sound frivolous or silly… but it does help. We are in the fall season right now, so consider putting out a fall decoration or two. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant or expensive. It could just be a candle, or a wreath. A little beauty can breathe life into the soul.
• Fourth, and I truly believe MOST importantly, ask for help. This is a tough one, because often times as women, we either are too ashamed, embarrassed, or to proud to ask for help. Can I quietly challenge you to set aside “self” for a moment and just ask; your husband, your friend, a neighbor, a church member, family. It will be OK. And one day, when you are in a better place, you can return the blessing.
And after you’ve “done the next thing” and you are still struggling to find the joy in your homemaking… you give yourself a break. You breathe. You speak the truth that “this too shall pass.” One day you’ll look around and those piles will be a little smaller, the sink will actually shine, and the mail will all be filed away. You’ll look up and smile and realize that buried in all the difficult, waiting, giving you time to wade through the hard moments…the joy was there all along.
What are some things you do to get through the “hard moments” of homemaking?
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