Setting a positive tone in your home

Setting a positive tone in our homes is our responsibility as wives and Mamas. While I don’t think the saying “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” gives us license to be rude or demanding, it is true. Our attitudes influence our husband and children greatly. Life can be stressful, but we don’t have to be stressed out. Taking time in the morning before everyone else wakes to ready ourselves for the day is imperative.

Whether you have a morning quiet time with the Lord, read your Bible, have a cup of coffee (or tea, if you’re like me), or just get started with the day, your mood influences the rest of your family. I don’t think I truly understood just how great of an impact my mood had on my family until my hubby pointed it out to me. He is more pessimistic and I’m more optimistic. He told me that he feeds off of my optimism and needs that boost. I then realized that my children do the same. I set the tone.

Throughout the day, life happens. Milk gets spilled, laundry has to be done, meals have to be made, dishes have to be washed. Someone gets hurt. Someone cries. Diapers have to be changed. Potty training happens. School work has to be done. Phone calls made. Bills paid. Life just happens. We can quickly become overwhelmed if we don’t slow down and take time to center our thoughts.

One way that I stay focused on what it truly important is through music. My favorite genre of music is contemporary Christian. It uplifts me, encourages me, challenges me, and focuses me. It’s also fun to listen, sing along, and dance with my children.

My most recent addition to my music library is the WOW Hits 2015 Deluxe Edition. It was a gift from Family Christian Stores to me as a blogger. They asked me to give it a listen and let my readers know what I thought of it. Well, when it arrived and I saw the huge list of groups, I knew I’d like it. Some of my favorites are included on this CD- Big Daddy Weave, Casting Crowns, Tenth Avenue North, Mandisa, Third Day, Chris Tomlin, and so many more. There are 39 songs included, for over 2 hours of listening enjoyment. This CD has set the tone for our home since it arrived. 😉

Another way I stay focused is to truly focus on my family. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life that we can overlook the very people we are living this life with! Play a game, read a book, go outside, sit and cuddle. It doesn’t matter what you do, just do something WITH your children and husband.

Doing chores can be burdensome when Mama is doing it all. Involve your children in this task. They need to learn how to take care of the laundry, how to clean the bathroom, how to wash the dishes, etc. I was told one time that a woman didn’t ask her daughter to do chores because “she didn’t ask to be born, so I don’t make her work.” That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard (and I’ve heard plenty of ridiculous things!) The fact is, we are training and teaching our children every day. This woman, I feel, was training her daughter to be waited on, and to not assume responsibility. While not a huge problem for a 2 year old, it certainly is a huge problem for a 20 year old! Please teach your children how to do daily chores, and do them with a good attitude. It will only serve to make them more well-rounded adults, and a whole lot more enjoyable during the growing up years (for you and everyone around you!)

Focus on what truly NEEDS to be done. We sometimes do things just because we think they need to be done, or because someone else does them. As a family, decide what matters most to you. For my husband, having clean floors, a clean bathroom, laundry done, and meals cooked are most important. He’s not worried about dusting, washing windows, and elaborate decorating. Because I know what matters to him most, I focus on those areas. That’s not to say that we don’t also dust and wash windows, it just means that those jobs are not at the top of my priority list. Your family priorities will be different than mine. I encourage you to have a real talk with your husband to see what really matters to him, then focus on those items.

This brings me to another point. Comparison. This quote from Theodore Roosevelt says it best. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is so incredibly true. It doesn’t matter which point of life you are comparing- your marriage, your children, number of children, size of home, type of car, income, etc. Don’t compare your life to someone else’s. You don’t live their life. Live your own to your own best. Sure, take tips from others, but don’t model your life after someone else’s. And please don’t compare what you see as a failure in your life against a success in someone else’s. Refer back to the last paragraph. What is it that YOUR family has deemed most important? That should be your focus, not what another family has deemed most important.

Take some time during the breaks this holiday season to really see what tone you set in your home. Is it a positive one? Great, keep up the good work! If not, I heartily encourage you to have a talk with your hubby to see what changes you can make in order to make the new year a more positive one.

Family Christian Stores has graciously offered to bless one Successful Homemakers reader with a $10 appreciation certificate. To enter to win, simply leave me a comment with your favorite band or song below.