Today, I’m going to share with you how to make the worst hamburgers ever. Seriously. 😉
1. Don’t put anything in the burger.
Don’t add anything to moisten the meat. Just form it into patties and cook. Or buy a bag of of the preformed patties. That works too.
Please, just use the Best Burger Ever recipe.
2. Use the leanest meat possible.
I know fat is “bad,” but if you are grilling, your burgers aren’t siting in the fat. It’s dripping away, leaving your burgers dry and tasteless. Ick.
Use at least 80/20 for grilling.
3. Flatten them with a spatula.
While that burger is cooking, smush the you-know-what out of it with the spatula so every bit of fat spills out.
Please, don’t squeeze!
4. Flip constantly.
Make that burger think it’s in an amusement park. Not only will be probably turn out dry because you handle it so much that squishing is inevitable (see above), but you also won’t know if it’s cooked through, increasing the chance of being overcooked.
Instead, cook it for 5 minutes without touching it! Then flip and cook for another 4 minutes. Add your cheese, if desired, but don’t leave it on the grill for longer than a minute or so more. This will usually get you medium well burgers, depending on thickness of the burger & heat of the grill.
5. Don’t use salt.
Salt is terrible for you and you should never add it to anything ever–especially when grilling!
A liberal shake of seasoning salt or other seasoning blend with salt will improve the taste. Trust me. My husband salts until he thinks it’s too much and adds another shake for good measure.
So those are my tips for making the worst burgers ever!
Do you have any burger grilling tips? Please do share!!!
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I have one to add, straight from my father-in-law.
6. Cook it to death, until it resembles a cross between a piece of charcoal and a hockey puck.
My f-i-l is normally an excellent cook, but the family always sends a ‘helper’ when he cooks burgers!
LOL!I thought it was goign to go more along these lines.
1: Get your car keys, get in your car
2: turn car on and drive to the nearest fast food chain
3: Order a hamburger, enjoy pre processed food that you don’t know whats in it.
“Make the burgers think they are at an amusement park” HA! That made me giggle. Wonderful tips to make a burger (the real ones :P) I will have to reference this when it’s time to make some burgers!
Nicole
Working Kansas Homemaker (.com)
Only tip to making horrible hamburgers that I’d add is: start with those pre-shaped, frozen patties they sell at the store. You know, the ones that are pink slime plus the floor sweepings from the beef processing plant. Mmm, mmm, yuck!