On this day in 1991, a young woman of 21 put on a white dress and veil, and walked down the aisle, escorted by her loving Dad, to become the wife of her beloved. They had dated for 13 months when he took her to the beach, got down on on knee, and proposed to her, asking her to join her life to his.
Growing up, I only ever dreamed of life as a wife and Mama. I had no career aspirations, no desire to “be” anything other than a wife and a Mama. I didn’t date in high school, but went on my very first date when I was 19 and had met this most handsome man at work and church. I knew from very early on that he was the one God had created especially for me.
We fit together so very well, our wants, desires, dreams, and pursuits so perfectly meshed. Becoming one as a married couple was an easy transition.
While our transition to married couple has been easy, life hasn’t always been easy. We’ve experienced our share of trials and tests. We’ve walked the hard road of miscarriage and grief of loved ones gone before us. We’ve made a major move from our home in SW FL to a brand new one in TN, where we had no friends nor relatives. We’ve been through job loss, lay-offs, and new jobs. We’ve had the distinct honor and pleasure of having four incredible children. We’ve, well, we’ve lived. Ups and downs come with life.
Over the course of the last 24 years, we’ve learned a lot about each other, marriage, and life. I’d like to share with you some of the things I’ve learned.
24 Things I’ve Learned About Marriage
1. Marrying your very best friend is the best way to begin married life.
2. There will be ups and downs, allow them to draw you closer, not pull you apart.
3. Making your spouse happy will give you untold happiness yourself.
4. Complaining and nagging does no good for anyone . . . how could it possibly help your marriage?
5. Seeing your Honey’s smile when he comes in the door after a day of work is the best thing! Be his smile and light in a sometimes cold world.
6. Treating others better than you treat your spouse is just plain wrong. If you would not talk that way to a stranger or a friend, why on earth would you be rude to your best friend??
7. Life will throw you curves . . . flow with them!
8. If you always try to please each other, you’ll both end up satisfied.
9. Always kiss good night . . . ALWAYS!
10. Kind words are a soothing thing on a rough day.
11. Never speak ill of your spouse. Would you want him to speak ill of you??? Speak words of affirmation.
12. Learn to communicate. REALLY communicate and Refer back to #1 – if you can’t communicate, don’t get married until you can!
13. Growing older together is a wonderful thing.
14. Time spent growing as an individual is a good thing too, just don’t spend too much time on you. You aren’t just you any more, you are one half of a team.
15. Realize that life can be hard and help each other through the hard times.
16. Sticking it out is incredibly important – for you, for your spouse, for your children and on down the line to your grandchildren.
17. Recognize folks who drag you down and don’t allow them to do so.
18. Seek out friends that you both enjoy spending time with- not one-sided friendships.
19. Do things as a family Spend TIME together. After all, that’s all we really have, isn’t it??
20. Seek the advice and counsel of your spouse. They know you and your needs better than anyone else.
21. Overlook the small things, for in reality, they truly don’t matter. Going out of your way for your spouse is a small gift, and gives long-lasting returns.
22. Be a united front in all areas- other family members, children, friends.
23. Commit to the long haul. Love is both a choice and a feeling.
24. Be true to your vows. ALWAYS. In today’s Internet age, consider your motives in befriending others via social media. Former boyfriend? Members of the opposite sex? These are touchy areas, in my opinion. Speak with your husband before adding folks from these areas to your social media circles.
25. A bonus one for you. 😉 Be true to who you are. Don’t put on false pretenses in order to “get the guy.” Go into marriage with your eyes wide open, and be prepared to be stretched, taught, molded, and grow. Know that marriage is not all about you. It’s about you and your hubby, and what God wills. Follow Him and you’ll be walking the right path.
Some of these things have been learned through our experiences together, others have been learned by observing others. I realize that not every marriage is wonderful and there are some very hurt people out there. But, it can be that way. It truly can. And, when it is . . . oh . . . it’s incredible!!
Happy Anniversary, Honey!!! I love you more than yesterday, but nowhere near as much as tomorrow!!!
I’d love for you to share your best marriage tips with me! How long have you been married?
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